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      Orphan Attachments   07/31/2018

      I have been doing some housekeeping lately and I've noticed that I had a lot of orphaned attachments. Attachments get orphaned when the PM or post is deleted without removing the attachment first. Deleting a PM or post does not delete the attachment and the file or image remain on the server. I'd like to ask all members to go through their attachments and delete any attachments you don't need anymore or those that have been orphaned. Where can I get a list of my attachments? Click on your display name in the upper right corner of the forums and pick "My Attachments" from the drop-down list. How can I tell an attachment is orphaned? If the PM has been deleted, you'll see a message like this in your attachment list: Unfortunately there is no message if the post has been deleted, so please check your old posts. We do purge old birthday threads every once in a while. Also some hosted projects have been shut down, so you may have orphaned attachments on one of those locations. Thanks!
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Guest theinfamouskat

Tolkien

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Cla'nee yanked open the door of the first room she knew didn't have Venos or Dominic in it - and thank Sithis, it was empty. Her sliced hand left a smear of blood on the doorknob and she hissed in pain. Slamming the door behind her, she fumbled for the lock, trying and failing to get it to turn with her slippery hands. "L-lock, damn you," she cursed at it. "J-just, would you please - ?!"

 

Finally, she managed to get the bolt to slide home, just as the tears really started to come. He's lying. Gods - for all I know, he's with that bitch! He's lying and he's a fool! I don't need this! The cut was too deep for just bandages, but she couldn't stitch it by herself, and damned if she was going to let anyone else see her now. She managed to make do with tying a wadded lump of gauze to her palm.

 

She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed at her eyes. Shoulders hitching, she slowly lay down and began the business of quietly crying herself to sleep.

 

 

 

 

OOC: Tantrum winding down, door locked, and she'll probably wake up to bloody sheets from her hand.

 

...Huzzah for putting my characters through hell!

 

*crashes*

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Guest J_Slr

OOC: Aw! I feel so sorry for her. I hope Sebs gets it in the neck!

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Cla'nee woke to the sound of someone banging on the door. She reached up to rub at her eyes and winced when her hand refused to let her. Holding the offending appendage over her head, she forced her eyes open. She winced again.

 

Another round of pounding on the door. "Hold your damned horses!" she yelled back in a cracked voice. "I can hear you!"

 

Silence, then a surprised-sounding, albeit muffled, "Cla'nee?" The door knob rattled. "A-are you okay?"

 

"Go away."

 

"'I-is this b-blood yours?"

 

"No, it belongs to the man I killed." A good stretch of silence. "That was a joke."

 

"C-can I come in?"

 

Cla'nee looked at her hand again, and then at the smears of blood all over the pillow and sheets. "Sure. Why the hell not." Staggering to her feet, she went to unlock the door.

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Guest theinfamouskat

The door unlocked with a click and Vilandon stood in the doorway, hugging an armful of clothes and staring at her. He looked at her hand, balled to a weak fist and covered in blood. He looked back at her, eyes wide with concern. "M-may I come in?"

 

Cla'nee gave a weak shrug, walking away from the door and leaving it open. Vilandon walked to a table and dumped the clothing there before grabbing a cloth from where it hung over a washbasin, dipping it in the water and walking back to the door and wiping it cleaned. He noted, with some surprise, the blood on the door was far fresher than the blood caked on Cla'nee's hand.

 

Once he'd finished, he closed the door behind him and locked it again. "N-no one is trying to hurt you, are they?"

 

Cla'nee sat on the bed, one hand cradling the bloody fist in silence.

 

Vilandon swallowed. "What happened?"

 

[Vilandon has entered the Tolkien Room]

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"I was an idiot," Cla'nee murmured. "I lost my temper. Three times. Gods, I...I don't know what's wrong with me. I got along just fine for five years. Five years! And then I see Arden again, and see what he did to Civello's wife, and...and it's like I can't think right since." She rubbed at her eyes with the uninjured hand. "Gods. I can't believe I did that."

 

"Did what?"

 

"Everything. Just...just everything. Threw a blade at Kerensky to get his attention - idiot decided to punch Sebs, I lost my temper after he...he said a few things. Then did it again to another man and almost ended up as wallpaper because of it. Then some random ass started going off about Cass and Sebs and..." She waved her swollen, bloody hand weakly. "I smashed a bowl of stew in his face, and sliced up my hand. I've apparently forgotten how to act like a human being! Or a healer! I mean, if you weren't here, I-I don't think I can...care for Cass' wounds anymore." She blushed a brilliant red and ended in a despairing moan, "And if Kerensky's right..."

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Guest theinfamouskat

In the time she'd been speaking, he'd managed to gather a new cloth, wet it, and was instantly by her side, wiping her face. "Right about what?" he asked quietly. "Did he upset you? Wh-what...?"

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Cla'nee could only shake her head, blushing. "I-I can't...I...I th-think I might...Gods. I'm afraid that I might...love Cass." She closed her eyes tightly, tears leaking out again, "...and...and Sebs."

 

 

 

 

OOC: *watches Vilandon flee*

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Guest theinfamouskat

Vilandon's eyes widened slightly. "B-both of them?"

 

Cla'nee nodded.

 

"A-at the same time?"

 

Cla'nee pressed her clean hand to her face with a weak moan. "I don't know," she whimpered.

 

Vilandon frowned, still confused and slightly embarrassed. "And s-something that Kerensky said m-makes you think that you love them both?"

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"Well, he is married," she muttered, refusing to look up. "And as much as I can't stand his wife, he does love her. S-so I asked him. What it was like. And..." She tried to remember exactly what it was that he'd said. "He said...um...well, he said a lot of stuff, and... Sithis! I don't even like Sebs! I mean, he's a nice guy, but it's just - Gods, every time I explain it, it makes less and less sense. There's something in my head that's really...sensitive to him. That bit feels like...how Kerensky described it. Love. And Sebs told me that I'm precisely like a woman he'd loved - one who died. But I don't want to - to - I don't want him! I want Cass!"

 

She slapped her hands over her mouth and went red from the scalp down.

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Guest theinfamouskat

Vilandon smiled and little and peeled her hands from her mouth, taking the bloodied one and starting to clean it. "You say that like I don't already know," he said with a weak chuckle.

 

Cla'nee was still vibrant red and she said nothing.

 

Vilandon sighed. "Well, if you want to be with Cassius, then be with him," he said quietly, ignoring her winces as he began to clean the wound. "I-I mean, that makes sense, doesn't it?"

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She shook her head again. "How can I? How can I make him happy if half my head is pushing me towards someone else? And how can I...if I'm afraid to let him touch me?" Her other arm unconsciously crossed over her chest. "I'm scared, Vilandon..."

 

 

 

 

OOC: *ahem*

 

ANGST.

 

That is all.

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Vilandon sighed, cleaning the cut as best he could. "What I don't understand is wh-why you're both so afraid of each other." When Cla'nee shot him a questioning glance he added, "you and Cass. Y-you're both so scared to admit you love each other, b-because you both think you can't make the other one happy, o-or you think they'll hurt you."

 

"Cass is scared I'll hurt him?" Cla'nee asked, her voice high and frantic.

 

"No," Vilandon murmured. "N-not like how you mean. H-he's... scared that if he can't make you happy, you'd leave a-and..." He shrugged. "That's the kind of hurt he's scared of." He sighed. "A-as for Farcic, m-maybe it's all in your head. I-I mean I've heard tale of some Tribunal m-missionaries who would enchant their armor with... um, r-radial charm spells. I-it made everyone around them much more... open o-or susceptible to their message." A little flash of pain flickered across his features. "I-it... didn't make the message any more true." He frowned at her. "D-does... that make sense?"

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"I hope so. Gods, I hope so. I'd like to think it's not me." Cla'nee sniffed. "Cass thinks I'll leave?" Vilandon nodded and Cla'nee winced, remembering the lecture she'd only just gotten. "I-I don't want to leave him. But...eventually...what if I have to? Because of who I am? We are? Wouldn't it be better to not do this to ourselves?"

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Vilandon took a deep breath. "I... don't know there's a 'we' for Cass and I to go back to. I-I mean maybe when this is over, I'll go back to... I don't know, Mournhold o-or maybe even Balmora, but Cassius, he..." He shrugged. "After this, I don't think he'll want to go back." He gnawed for a moment on his lower lip. "Cla'nee, I'm scared."

 

"Of what?" she murmued.

 

He sighed, shaking his head. "That you're the only reason he's still alive... and I'm scared that if he doesn't find another reason to live for, then... if you go..." He left the sentence unfinished.

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Vilandon sniffed and rubbed at his nose. "After I joined the Temple, I... hardly ever saw parents again. Th-that is, Dralor is a name the Temple gave me and... well, m-my father died when I was an Ordinator Initiate, a-and my mother... I-I don't know where she is, th-they separated a few years before I joined the Temple, s-so I don't know what's become of her. M-my aunt, she... sh-she and I were never close, they moved me through... so many units I never really got to know anyone a-and I was an n'wah to begin with, so Cass..." He gave a little shrug as his mouth pulled tight. He glanced at Cla'nee, hoping there weren't tears in his eyes. "He's the only family I have."

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"Heh...I...I guess I sort of felt the same way back then. I understand." She sighed softly. "Vilandon, I never want to hurt him. Ever. He's...very important to me, too."

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Guest theinfamouskat

Vilandon smiled a little. "Th... thank you." He sniffed again. "I guess that kinda makes us family, too... doesn't it?"

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"If you want," Cla'nee laughed quietly. With a sigh, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I guess that if you can put up with me, with all the...er...guar dung in my past, then Cass can. I just worry too much." She was silent for a moment, then she asked, "How is he?"

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Guest theinfamouskat

Vilandon sighed. "He's um... well, I've done all I can." He gave a little shrug. "He, ah, healed... quickly, y-your salves were... very effective, b-but that's part of the p-problem he..." Vilandon gnawed on the inside of his lip for a long moment. He dropped one hand to his lap. "He's going to have scars... lots of scars. The ones, um..." He made a clawing motion, first at his lower abdomen, then on the inside of his thighs. "Here... and here."

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"Well, I know a few salves to help scarring. You can't have recognizable marks in...in the - " Cla'nee pressed her eyes shut and said a very crude word in Dunmeri, breathing fast through her nose. "I'm going to kill that bitch if I ever find her. I..." Turning her face into his neck, she fought back the tears. "I don't know how to how to help him, Vilandon. I want to give him what I didn't get, but...I-I don't know how. Gods, he's in so much pain. After her, and after Elizabeth. I've never had to deal with something like this before. Have you?"

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"Not like this," Vilandon murmured, rubbing her arm lightly with his free hand. "I-I've never even... held a woman let alone..." He trailed off as she looked up at him wryly. He smiled a little and looked back at the wall. "This doesn't count," he said, giving her a little squeeze. He sobered a little, lowering his voice. "I don't... know how long it's going to take for him to get better... for him to get truly better... but I think if we're... patient..." He glanced at her. "You saw him at Skingrad... he held himself just like he used to even after that..." He took in a sharp breath, holding in the few curse words that came to mind and settling for, "that she-beast attacked us."

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"He's doing better than I ever did." Cla'nee chuckled. "But then, the man's shown an almost unhealthy lack of self-pity to me. Guilt, Gods yes. Far too much guilt. But I do wish he'd whine about how much his life sucks, just a little. It's enough to give a girl a complex." Flexing her fingers, she muttered, "He does have some ability to bitch and moan, right? I've only seen a little from him compared to...well, compared to me. All he's complained about is how old he feels."

 

Shifting a little, she let out a sigh. "He is a kind man, though. And...heh...Gods. Back when I was still in the brothel, when he'd come to gather up Arden, he'd blush so hard and try not to look at any of the girls. He acted just like you. I'd never met or even seen anyone like him. I thought he was really odd. I suppose...I wonder if I loved him, even back then. Not for real, probably. Being on the 'Front grows you up fast, but not that fast." She let out another small laugh, a little distant. "Wouldn't it be funny if he loved me then, too? Again, not for real, but...he always was a fantasy of mine. Never thought I would have him for real."

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